We grew up together
You were my right hand man
Through changes in weather
There was nothin we couldn't withstand
Boyz for life they say
We had each others back
Saw me through my worse days
Loyalty and respect never lacked
I watched over your family
Your moms was like my own
We shared the same enemies
The blocks rolling stones
Then the shine lost it's gleam
As I saw you laying next to her
Did you forget she belonged to me
Or does nothing seem matter?
Claiming it was a mistake
That it all happened to fast
But you knew what was at stake
And now you just part of the past
On your knees pleading
Bringing up old memories
Your apology ain't helping
And neither are your stories
God help me control this fury
Right now he's facing death
I can't believe this treachery
Trying not to do something I'll regret
You took my everything away
She was my mind, body and soul
Never thought it was I you would betray
Stripping and leaving me in the cold
Everyone has had a friend betray them before, so this poem can be related to almost anyone's lives. So I applaud you for writing a poem that is so relatable . I really thought it was cool how you brought up the part when the friend saw the girl laying next to them, because that breaks any friend code. All the elements of a betrayal were in this poem. Great job.
ReplyDeleteCan barely see it.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is very interesting because it could be about a lot of things. This poem could be about a friend who got betrayed because his girlfriend got taken, about someone dying, or just generally about life itself. The poem is very simple yet very meaningful. Its not always the complicated poems that are good. The simpler the better at least in my opinion. Keep up the poems.
ReplyDeleteI think it is pretty obvious the author is talking about being betrayed by a friend who took his girl. I feel like you shouldn't restrict yourself to such straight forward terms, but it does give off the feeling that the poem is telling us a story.
ReplyDeleteI choose this poem because I was able to relate to it, like many others. I think this was a PHENOMENAL poem that really touched my heart. The direct examples you used made it more sympathetic; "As I saw you lay next to her." "She was my mind, body and soul," my heart broke. I believe the poem was about betrayl, and possible punishment for betrayl. I'm glad you used simple imagery, and not a lot of symbols and repitation in this poem because it would have took away the sympathy. GREAT JOB!!! ;))
ReplyDeletegood discussion
ReplyDelete